GOLD! YES!! OMG! GOLD :DDDD
I cannot believe WE, SCCO, got that freaking GOLD AWARD:D <3
At last, after that long and ardous journey we all have walked and experienced through, we managed to clinch that gold award. Yes, maybe to some, it was normal to get back a gold, but still I am very proud that we did it(:
I am actually quite happy about myself :p I only started really playing xiao di last year, and I was really sucky and soft then. My conductor kept commenting and my peers and juniors kept talking about it. I was honestly, very demoralised. I didn’t know what to do. My junior kept commenting and no matter how much I practised, it really sux TTM. D’: But slowly, and I really don’t know how, I improved. My yin se, yin liang and yin zhun became so much better :D From then onwards,I kept on getting better, only dropping my standards sometimes >< Although I know my standard dropped a bit during the actual performance, but I shall think positively since we got a GOLD!:D
Walking down this whole SYF preparation journey, I learnt alot of things. From knowing that I have lots more to learn to handling people’s different attitude to handling and controlling my own emotions. It really made me opened up my eyes and see the world more clearly. All these joys and sadness that was brought about due to SYF practiceS, I will never forget them. They will forever be kept there, in my heart. I will never forget you guys, guanyue. I know I was a bit irritating at times, but still, do forgive me. I was just nervous for you all :p <3
Anyways, I really love WOODWINDS <3 love SCCO <3 although lots of bloody shit but still, it was worth it leh ~ :D
Once again, Congratz to SCCO! GOLD:DDD <3 This feeling of GOLD adrenaline, will never leave my heart. <3
Pamely<3
20 April 2011, Wednesday
I will never forget this date and day. I AM NOW VERY DE stress.
What if I blow wrong? What if blow but no sound? What if zuo yin? What if I cause the gold to go? What if I am the 败类？…
I haven’t been sleeping really well these few nights. These many What ifs keep popping in my mind. I really hate it when I have such LOW CONFIDENCE. But I am really scared. Seniors kept saying, You can do it! and I really don’t want to let them down, including the teachers. D’:
I think after SYF I will cry like shit. And if no gold. I think I will cry like shit too..
ARGH!!!! D: D: D: D: D:
Dreams. I love to dream. I want to dream. I have dreams. I wonder if all that was just a dream.
Dreams for studies, dreams for CCA, dreams for career, dreams for me and dreams for you.
Day-dream, afternoon-dream, evening-dream, night-dream, we-dream, you-dream, i-dream.
Everyday I dream. I dream if that is possible. I dream and hope that all that wasn't a dream.
But it was all just a fling right?
It was all just for fun right?
It was all just a dream ... right?
Everything is just a dream.
dreams,dreams,dreams
Hello(: It is officially the last month I will be in CO as a member, playing and performing and having fun at the same time. On 20 april, it will our SYF day. I could say that I look forward to it and I also not look forward it.
For 3 years and 3 months in scco, I have been through many ups and downs. I have laughed in there, cried in there, scolded in there and wadsoever. Yes, it has been a tiring journey but I can say it is an enriching and fufilling one. LOL, if i have never joined CO, i would not have found my lovely section. Love them to ttm though they are irritating and really get on my nerves at times.
These past months have been stressful at times. Esp these past few days when I heard about some stuff and I really felyt freaking hurt. Haven I tried enough? Maybe I haven but I improved , didnt u see? Why must you give me that face. And you, I was trying to teach you something and you just give me a " Go away, who are u to tell me this and that. I know okay. " I seriously just don't understand you and you at times. I was helping you, but fine if u don't want to know and don't accpet my help. For you, if you think i suck, tell me in the face. I am tired and yes, demoralised (happy?). I tried to accept you, and i did but i still got backstabbed by you uh? Haiz..
Wadever the case, let's run all the way to the finishing end with the last ounce of energy and bearing my seniors' words in mind, "Most importantly, enjoy the process as this will be your last time with them, performing all together in this situation again." :D So, to my three darlings, cherie, ariel and jasmine,
LET US, HAND IN HAND, RUN ALL THE WAY TO THE FINISHING END NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS :D
Pam<3
These days have been so sad and lonely, I just yearn for a hug. One from you will suffice. Just hold me tightly in your arms and let me escape from reality, even if it is for a few moments.
♥
I don't want to lose the passion for music. Please stop killing me and taking away my passion. Music makes me feel better. So please stop making me lose my faith and hope in music. I just want to be happy.
Hello(:
I got lots to say but I don't really know how to phrase it in words. But to sum up: I am Exceptionally tired, mentally and physically, these days. All the shit happening to me just brings me down more.
Pam
HELLO(:
Back from music xchange and overnight in school(:
Xchange- It wasnt my full 100% that i shown. I am utterly disappointed in myself with that fact. And that line " Although there are 10 dizi playing, but it doesn't sound like 10 dizi playing. " It was just liek stabbing a knife through my heart. Harsh words but it was good for us, because it just motivates us more to work harder. Thankyou WOODGROVE SECONDARY TEACHER. :D
Overnight- Awesome(: me and cherie had the whole toilet to ourself when we were bathing. hahas(: Worse part was: we had night practice at 12.30am! >< But after that, everyone was dismissed to go to bed.I stayed up with nicole and some others as they had a meeting. I was there as a calefare :p A few of us stayed behind after the meeting and we chatted with teacher. At alst, I managed to mention about the PP thing. Later, went around the school and went to quadrangle. Felt like a ninja, trying to shun from teachers and we managed to lie there for awhile until our 守护天使 a.k.a security guards came back to tell us Miss Lim was in the canteen. It was then funny then. Everyone grabbed their stuff and ran away. We girls hid at the chem lab toilet. (: In the end, we just went back to the classrooms. But me, this stupid girl, left my specs there.. T.T and had to make my way back to quad. Lucky security guards and nicole came with me.
Back in the room, Cherie woke up and all four of us, cherie nicole ariel me, lied side by side, facing the door. hahas(: In the end, cherie, me and ariel stayed up to talk. At that time was 4+am.. We talked for an hour, gossiping, pouring out complains, love life and stuff. From sitting up to lying down on each other's sleeping bag, soon we just fell asleep. hahas(:
That's the end of that night(:
Side effect: Sick. -.- Now i am down with flu, cough and fever is coming soon.. D: Head is heavy all the time. If YOU would give me a hug, I would really appreciate it cause thats wad i need.Right now. ):
Alright I shall go now, head hurting alot alot...bye~
Pam<3
Taylor swift
Cold as you
You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take
You take the very best of me
So I start a fight
'Cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want
'Cause I'm not what you wanted
Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away
No use in defending words
That you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here
Thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You put walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you
And washed them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer
With the nerve to adore you
Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away
No use in defending words
That you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here
Thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You never did give a damn thing, honey
But I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody
If I died, died for you
Died for you
Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away
Oh, every smile you fake
Is so condescending
Counted all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here
Thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take
You take the very best of me
So I start a fight
'Cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want
'Cause I'm not what you wanted
Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away
No use in defending words
That you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here
Thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You put walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you
And washed them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer
With the nerve to adore you
Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away
No use in defending words
That you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here
Thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You never did give a damn thing, honey
But I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody
If I died, died for you
Died for you
Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away
Oh, every smile you fake
Is so condescending
Counted all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here
Thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
Jump then fall
I like the way you sound in the morning
we're on the phone and without a warning
I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard
I like the way I can't keep my focus
I watch you talk, you didn't notice
I hear the words but all I can think is we should be together
Every time you smile, I smile
and every time you shine, I'll shine for you
Whoa I'm feeling you baby
don't be afraid to jump then fall, jump then fall into me
baby I'm never gonna leave you
say that you wanna be with me too
cause I'm gonna stay through it all so jump then fall
Well I like the way your hair falls in your face
you got the keys to me, I love each freckle on your face
oh I've never been so wrapped up honey
I like way you're everything I've ever wanted
I had time to think it over and all I can say is come closer
take a deep breath and jump then fall into me
Cause every time you smile, I smile
and every time you shine, I'll shine for you
The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet
I'll catch you, I'll catch you
When people say things that bring you to your knees, I'll catch you.
The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry
but I'll hold you through the night until you smile
Whoa I need you baby
don't be afraid please jump then fall, jump then fall into me
baby I'm never gonna leave you
say that you wanna be with me too
cause I'm gonna stay through it all so jump then fall
jump then fall baby
jump then fall into me, into me
And every time you smile, I smile
and every time you shine, I'll shine
and every time you're here baby I'll show you
I'll show you you can jump then fall
Jump then fall
Jump then fall into me, into me, yeah.
Why am i always at fault? For everything that happened, it is my fault. I am tired of getting blamed. It is irritating and it makes my mood drop like shit LOADS!
it is a place where U can see it all. Jus read la.
I always get kicked. Always. Hahas me so failed.
I love my friends (:
my new twitter background <3
As they always say,
"Picture paints a thousand words" ♥
pam~♥
hello. my feelingsaresoconfused. somixedup. juslikethesewords. lol. seeingthis and hearingtat, idunnototrust my heart or trustmy instincts.
